Other Dyslexics have successful lives, so why can’t I?
I blocked most of my childhood memories, but I remember being laughed at, and I remember being mortified as I sat in a Special Ed. Classroom surrounded by drooling, slack-jawed kids.
Despite all that, I liked school, I wanted to learn, and I wanted to be like the other kids my age, who were in a grade or two above me. I never fully understood why I couldn’t rise to the level I belonged to.
I am an Airforce brat, we were stationed on a Base in Alaska, where the grade school was ahead of its time, they had a program for Dyslexics. They determined that if I could learn to read, it would be helpful to me in later life, more so than math.
So, they concentrated on that. To this day, I’m 60 years old, and I can’t make change, or balance a checkbook, but I was reading at a college level, before I entered High School.
A lot of my difficulties, I think arose from the social programming I received as a kid. I am a big man, and I was big for my age, so I stood out in classes with much younger students, because I was always a grade behind.
I was in 7th grade, at Yokota Airbase Japan, I was no longer in Special Ed. But I still was in Remedial Math. In the middle of the year, the school promoted me to 8th. Grade.
May 1978, I graduated from High School; just barely, not because of Dyslexia so much, but due to a case of what the Guidance Counselor called “Senioritis.” I thought my battle with Dyslexia was won, but I was wrong.
I never could keep a job, I was always considered a hard worker, and a good guy, but I just couldn’t fit in anywhere. I was in my thirties, still living at home, when my parents encouraged me, more like twisted my arm, to get a security guard job.
I was in that line of work for over twenty years, and I hated every minute of it. I would meet other adult Dyslexics, who were successful, not living with their parents, and I would wonder “why them, and not me?”
I always worked hard at everything I did, I have never been accused of being a quitter, or lazy. I’m 60 years old, but I still don’t have an answer. I just keep trying.
Ten years ago, I decided to pursue my life-long dream of being a writer. I first had to learn to believe in myself, and to still the voice in my head that always told me I was stupid and would never be anything.
Then I started writing, without taking a class, or reading a book on craft. My writing was terrible, but I kept at it. I started reading books on writing, then I learned MS Word.
I finally grew confident enough to submit stories for publication. I’m so proud of my Rejection notices, because they prove I tried.
TAKEAWAYS:
1. Never, ever give up. Pursue your dream, you will never be happy until you do.
2. Blot out the voices, ignore the people that don’t believe in you.
3. Work hard. Don’t look back on your life, and realize you didn’t give it your all.
